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  • Writer's pictureApril Jones

When a canceled custom-made butt plug order becomes the inspiration for a heavy metal contest...

Updated: Aug 10, 2021

In this day and age, we live in a time where the freedom of individual expression is supposed to thrive and survive as a creative culture. The Cancel Culture is the "new PMRC", the new "modern-day witch hunt" that aims to express their immutable and extreme belief that some creative styles and self-expression should simply not exist. The outspoken extremist nature of their disapproval is very well-known and has commonly even led to violent results. As someone who supports and is a part of the creative culture and artistic community, I highly value unique perspectives, self-identity, individuality, and respect for freedom of creative self-expression, even if I don't like it.

Those who choose to be scared of what others think enable detrimental outcomes for all.

So, people started asking me if I was ordering more Mentors Rockumentary merchandise. If you're not familiar with The Mentors, they are one of the most notorious bands to emerge from the 1970's and I made a feature length documentary about them. The band's raunchiness and crude behavior has definitely riled up some feathers since, including the PMRC movement in the 80s til now with The Cancel Culture. The Mentors: King of Sleaze official documentary is streaming on Amazon Prime and the DVD can be bought here. This was my first feature film. Like 'em or not, they are a huge part of influential musical history.

So, I decided to order some custom-made butt plugs. Those things will sell like hot cakes, right?! I mean Mentors are "porno rock" so it seemed like a killer idea! After sending my order through. Several days later my custom-made butt plug order was cancelled? All due to the offensive nature of the Mentors possibly stirring up some controversy. They simply did not want to take the risk of people getting offended...

"My custom-made butt plug order was canceled?! ...but, but, but you make butt plugs"

Sooo, anyway.... Cancelled, now what? Oh, yeah... this HEAVY METAL contest came up... KING CRYPT DISTRO HEAVY METAL SHOWDOWN. A 1-person DIY metal band. 2 songs in 2 weeks. 1 minute each. I lagged, so I only had 3 days to learn drums, write, record, and edit. Drums recorded in Fuller Sound Studios. Here are the 2 songs. Follow KING CRYPT DISTRO on instagram here.

SONG 2: CANCEL THIS (is about my interaction with the cancel culture)



Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhh… you’re offended?

I’m cancelled too?

Well, that’s swell.

Why don’t you take this sharp, shiny object

and stick it up your fucking aaaaaaassss.

A forced perception to kill our expression

And to silence our own voice

People who tell people how to livev

Should be sacrificed without choice

Stand up to the offended

Stand up to the weak

Take back the freedom we seek

Don't tell people how to live

Freedom is a choice you have

You can't cancel me, fuck you

Fuck you, fuck you, and you too.



If you don't skate

Get out of my way

Hungry for the kill

Grind, Attack, STAT!

Aggression is calling me

Grind, Attack, STAT!

Addicted to the speed, GO, GO

Grind, Attack, STAT!

Get up on that Gnar, get it, get it

Grind, Attack, STAT!

Grind, Attack, STAT!

Grind, Attack, STAT!

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